Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Do you have some one in your life that is just so negative that they are pretty much an emotional vampire? I have a couple in real life and few who are Facebook friends most who have children with Autism. Some days, most days, I think about defacing them, I mean unfriending them. Honestly, I get tired of the whole life sucks, autism sucks, they have nothing positive to say about their child/children, Jenny McCarthy sucks, DAN doctors are snake oil salesmen, vaccines suck, etc.
YES WE KNOW AUTISM SUCKS!!!
HEY!!! It could always be worse. Many of my friends with kids with Autism that are dealing with that and a whole bunch more, they would be thankful to only have Autism to complain about.. Here are a few examples off the top of my head.
2) Fighting cancer
3) husband’s has passed away in the past year
4) many with chronic immune issues
5) chronic pain
6) heart issues
7) domestic violence
8) drug abuse
Most of the friends I have with the above issues complain but not 24/7, and they do post some positive things when they have a good day.
I seriously worry about people who can’t find something good to post about once in awhile. I’m not looking for huge things; the something good could be that your child with Autism smiled at you, the sun came out, or you caught all the green lights on your way home. Any happy thing here would make me feel better.
This may sound like I am dissing one of my fellow autism parents’ but I am not trying too. If I was I would have already defaced them and moved on. I just want to feed them some food for thought. I think most of us on Facebook and have a child with autism are Autism Awareness 24/7 but I fear the always negative message may scare off the people in your lives who do not live and breath Autism 24/7. I also fear it will scare the new parents to autism from trying some of the interventions that have helped other kids. 6 years ago I was a lot like my emotional vampires friends, well except I am pro Jenny and DAN. Then I realized that I was sounding like a crazy person and alienating those I wanted to help. I then took a step back and changed the way I worded things. I gained a lot more supporters and people who do not have a child with Autism, but know someone who does and may need the information I have learned.
A great example of this is my Cousin Renee’s aunt friended me the other day. I’ve know this aunt all my life, she is like an aunt to me. She friended me a year and half after she heard me talking to Renee’s cousin April about why she should not use Dreft on her baby’s clothes. Renee’s aunt is becoming a grandma and she heard me talking to April at Renee’s daughter in law’s baby shower, trust me I wanted to yell full force to April to not vaccinate, but I didn’t. I did not because I knew I would send April the other way. Instead I talked to her about something small, because I DO NOT scare pregnant women. I want pregnant women to feel free to have an open dialogue with me at anytime. My calm attitude when speaking to April, left the door open for someone who was listening to talk to me about their concerns 1 ½ years after the initial conversation.
This same dialogue with April also lead me to friending and talking to another one of Renee’s cousin’s wives. Her child has been extremely sick and was recently diagnosed with multiple food allergies, and needed help with finding foods her child could eat and my thoughts on eating GF at home for the entire family. Had I stayed the crazy person both these people may not have learned the knowledge I had to share.
I guess the point of this blog is to:
a) Think before you speak, don’t scare off the people who want to listen to you
b) Remember you may not be able to change the entire world at once, but you can try to change the world one person at a time
c) Most important don’t be an emotional vampire, let your friends know something positive every once in a while other wise we will worry about you!!!
PITA up, you know you want too!!