We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It's easy to say "It's not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem." Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes. — Fred Rogers
We live in a time and a age that I am sorry, you can’t turn a blind eye and say this is not your child, not your community and not your world so by default not your problem.
Autism is a huge problem. Depending on whose numbers you are going on it is either 1 child in 91 or 1 child in 110. This is a problem, for that matter no matter what the idiots at the CDC say this is an epidemic and it’s not GOING AWAY. Polio was an epidemic at 1 in 3000; again I ask the question why no one notices the difference or why no one in our government cares. I know that answer, and its Money, the money our government makes off vaccines and other big businesses, but that is not this blogs purpose.
This blog is about what are we going to do to support those parents of those 1 in 110 children and especially those parents who get 2 kids with Autism. This is not an easy life, I only started blogging on April 6, and this is the 2nd blog I have written on a parent of a child or children with Autism murdering their child with Autism.
I am honestly sorry I listened to the 911 tape, it is truly heart breaking listening to this mom say she killed her two young children and reading the news reports that say she wanted normal children. I cried, I wept, and I still feel like a piece of my heart was broken 2 days later.
As a parent of 3 “normal children” and one child with Autism, we all want NORMAL kids, WTF; we do not take wire to our children that do not fit the norm. We do not kill them.
I will say that had we continued on the path we were on when we met Autism on June 15, 2004 maybe I would have on been on this path too, but I really do not think so. At the point I was at my child slept 2 hours a day, ran full force into walls, he was like the Tasmanian devil and dumped everything out in his path, he pulled everything out of the fridge when given the opportunity, colored non stop and we bought a case of paper a month, and we have not even got to his health. He also at almost 3 years old had liquid poop, like that of a formula feed child and only ate & drank milk, cheese, wonder bread, cereal, and macaroni and cheese. He also had a distended belly and looked like he had two black eyes. He looked like death was just hovering over!
At that point in my life I do not know what I would have done if I was a single parent or a parent who did not have 2 awesome teens who stepped up and let Ed and I sleep. I like to believe I would never become that sleep deprived or insane that I would kill my child.
I think the difference between this mom and me? I found help, real help, not some organization that said and still says they speak for me but instead buys office supplies and a Park Avenue office, but an organization that really helps families newly diagnosed to Autism and what to expect and how help your child and how to learn to get help from the system to help your child.
Honestly I want every parent to find what I have! It is one of the reasons why I created this blog and our local Mom’s Night Out group. I think just realizing you are not alone is huge in our world. If you are a parent of a child with Autism and have not found yahoo groups, let me tell you are missing out on a huge resource. 6 years ago when I walked into Autism there was really no local resources, I learned everything from yahoo groups. It’s actually how I found TACA. I found some Gluten free Casein free groups and started following Dana of Dana’s View and ended up in a local yahoo group.
Without Dana’s View my life would be completely different!!! I might be the parent in the story above. But I am not and I truly hope all my friends who do not have Autism in their lives pass my story on to people who do have Autism in their lives. I want people to know there is hope, there is a better way and that they can reach out and get that help. If you are in that place in Autism where you are thinking about hurting yourself or your children, instead reach out to one of us other parents and ask for help. Or call 911 or drive directly to the hospital and ask for help. It is out there and we all want you to have it.
I am going to close this with a quote from my fellow PITA Simran Garcia, “Yes Autism is overwheming but we can do this.”
So as usual, PITAup change your life and the life of someone with Autism!
*Please note any links that are in green and underlined twice are being linked by the blog, and are not being linked by me and do not represent anything I am promoting.*
We live in a time and a age that I am sorry, you can’t turn a blind eye and say this is not your child, not your community and not your world so by default not your problem.
Autism is a huge problem. Depending on whose numbers you are going on it is either 1 child in 91 or 1 child in 110. This is a problem, for that matter no matter what the idiots at the CDC say this is an epidemic and it’s not GOING AWAY. Polio was an epidemic at 1 in 3000; again I ask the question why no one notices the difference or why no one in our government cares. I know that answer, and its Money, the money our government makes off vaccines and other big businesses, but that is not this blogs purpose.
This blog is about what are we going to do to support those parents of those 1 in 110 children and especially those parents who get 2 kids with Autism. This is not an easy life, I only started blogging on April 6, and this is the 2nd blog I have written on a parent of a child or children with Autism murdering their child with Autism.
I am honestly sorry I listened to the 911 tape, it is truly heart breaking listening to this mom say she killed her two young children and reading the news reports that say she wanted normal children. I cried, I wept, and I still feel like a piece of my heart was broken 2 days later.
As a parent of 3 “normal children” and one child with Autism, we all want NORMAL kids, WTF; we do not take wire to our children that do not fit the norm. We do not kill them.
I will say that had we continued on the path we were on when we met Autism on June 15, 2004 maybe I would have on been on this path too, but I really do not think so. At the point I was at my child slept 2 hours a day, ran full force into walls, he was like the Tasmanian devil and dumped everything out in his path, he pulled everything out of the fridge when given the opportunity, colored non stop and we bought a case of paper a month, and we have not even got to his health. He also at almost 3 years old had liquid poop, like that of a formula feed child and only ate & drank milk, cheese, wonder bread, cereal, and macaroni and cheese. He also had a distended belly and looked like he had two black eyes. He looked like death was just hovering over!
At that point in my life I do not know what I would have done if I was a single parent or a parent who did not have 2 awesome teens who stepped up and let Ed and I sleep. I like to believe I would never become that sleep deprived or insane that I would kill my child.
I think the difference between this mom and me? I found help, real help, not some organization that said and still says they speak for me but instead buys office supplies and a Park Avenue office, but an organization that really helps families newly diagnosed to Autism and what to expect and how help your child and how to learn to get help from the system to help your child.
Honestly I want every parent to find what I have! It is one of the reasons why I created this blog and our local Mom’s Night Out group. I think just realizing you are not alone is huge in our world. If you are a parent of a child with Autism and have not found yahoo groups, let me tell you are missing out on a huge resource. 6 years ago when I walked into Autism there was really no local resources, I learned everything from yahoo groups. It’s actually how I found TACA. I found some Gluten free Casein free groups and started following Dana of Dana’s View and ended up in a local yahoo group.
Without Dana’s View my life would be completely different!!! I might be the parent in the story above. But I am not and I truly hope all my friends who do not have Autism in their lives pass my story on to people who do have Autism in their lives. I want people to know there is hope, there is a better way and that they can reach out and get that help. If you are in that place in Autism where you are thinking about hurting yourself or your children, instead reach out to one of us other parents and ask for help. Or call 911 or drive directly to the hospital and ask for help. It is out there and we all want you to have it.
I am going to close this with a quote from my fellow PITA Simran Garcia, “Yes Autism is overwheming but we can do this.”
So as usual, PITAup change your life and the life of someone with Autism!
*Please note any links that are in green and underlined twice are being linked by the blog, and are not being linked by me and do not represent anything I am promoting.*
Right on Shannon. And sometimes even when you "know" what to do in autism, life throws wrenches and its other moms and dads that give you hope, maybe not for a cure, but for at least a better tomorrow. I also agree with wanting a typical kid. I never expected that in my life and I pray that my new little one is that gift to me as I have never experienced it. BUt I do understand the overwhelm. My second child was diagnosed when I was too a newly single mom and I my dad had passed away all in a 3 month period. I was ready to throw in the towel and scream out of the silence in my mind. No dad, no husband, and these two little ones (1 yr old and 3) with autism what the heck am I suppose to do?!? how am i to do this alone!?!
ReplyDeleteMy heart also always weeps whenever ANY new child is diagnosed with this disorder, because I know no matter what the outcome it means heartache, pain and broken lives even if only for a period of time. THat is why every child with autism calls out to my heart...they are my child, and every mom to me is like family. Love you Shannon and all of my PITA's
I have seen it at some of the support groups I've gone to... the new mom with the hollowed out look in her eyes. Heck, I think I even WAS that mom once upon a time...lol. I remember sobbing hysterically after an ASA meeting, only to have Janine come up to my window and let me know that I was perfectly sane and that it DID suck, and would suck for quite some time, but eventually, it would get easier. It did, and I am still fighting the good fight. Unfortunately, not every mom is wired like I am... to never give up no matter what, and sometimes, even the best of moms reach their breaking point. I am sometimes a single mom, because I have a husband whose job can take him anywhere in the world for upwards of a year or more. Those times when my husband is gone in training and I am at home with two children on the Spectrum, dealing with meltdowns and stimming and diets and shots and all of the other things we plug away at on a daily basis, sometimes, I feel a little helpless and alone too. What keeps me going is knowing that I am doing the right thing for my children first and foremost, but one of the BIGGEST reasons I am still here to fight another day is because of my fellow autism moms... my pretty PITAs! Had it not been for my fellow moms and the incredible amount of support I was shown when I first entered this community, I don't know if I would have been as resilient as I have been.
ReplyDeleteThat's why stories like this make me so sad. Where were her fellow moms? Every time I see one of these stories, my heart breaks, because that could be ANY one of us without the proper amount of support. This life does crazy things to some very sane people. Nothing excuses taking someone's life, especially not that of a defenseless child, but even the rockiest shore eventually erodes when the waves pound away at it unchecked.
I encourage all of my fellow moms to take a moment in our quest to reach that light at the end of the tunnel to look back and reach out to help those moms who are still behind us... who are just beginning that arduous journey... for who that light at the end seems almost intangible. If enough of us reach out to one another, it will be like a human chain, and hopefully, NONE of these mothers will ever have to resort to that ultimate defeatist act.
We cannot forget where we've come from. All of us have had a beginning, and been scared half to death by the prospect of what the future can bring to us as well as our children. We need to draw from our collective experiences to reach out to these moms BEFORE they allow themselves to be carried into the Abyss by this damned disorder.