Ever wonder what is a life changing event?

Ever wonder what is a life changing event? Ever wondering how many life changing events one person can have? I have…

For me they stand out pretty clearly. The first was having cancer, the second was having children, the third was having diagnoses of Autism and the fourth was having diagnoses of heart disease.

Ok that might be a bit deceiving because I have never had cancer, Autism or heart disease but I have lived through them all, and I am only 38!!! I have lived through my boyfriend, soon to be husband having cancer when I was 17, having kids at 18, my youngest child’s diagnoses of Autism and my husband having a heart attack when he was 39.

I always thought Autism would be the MOST life changing event, but I was wrong. The heart attack was. Surprise surprise.

The heart attack made me really think of how short life is. It made everything go into perspective; it made me realize I wanted to live. I guess that is what is different before kids and after kids, because cancer should have done that, right?

Nope.

As mom’s we are notorious for taking care of everyone but ourselves, and that becomes ten-fold after the diagnoses of Autism. I remember those first 9 months reading 40 hours a week on Autism. While most of you may think I live Autism now, trust me, this is the calm me. I know hard to believe, but free to ask Ed, Ashley & Nick. Before I get a 100 Facebook posts (since I know no one comments here, lol) yelling at me for not including Emily, I will point out it is different because she has only known a life with Autism, because Austin was like this since she was 3 and he was about 18 months.)

Ok back to the subject at hand, taking care of ourselves. You have to do it. You are not getting any younger, and the kids they are getting bigger and stronger every day. Eventually they will be able to out run us and you darn well better starve off that day as long as you can!!!

First let’s get rid of the excuse you are now yelling at the computer.

Excuse #1 taking time for me is SELFISH. I am pulling out the BS card on this one and telling no its not, it SELFLESS!! The better your health the easier it is on hubby and the kidlets!! The better you feel the better the household feels and runs.

Excuse #2 I don’t have the time, I work fulltime. Again I am pulling out the BS card you have the time. Every parent I know watches at least one 30 minute TV show a day, either give that up or exercise while you watch. If you work and you say you are too tired at the end of the day, again I say BS. You are entitled to two fifteen minute a day breaks and at least a 30 minute break for an 8 hour shift. Walk quickly for 10 of those 15 minutes and go to the bathroom in the other 5, and to make it more difficult take the walk up the stairs if you can. At lunch walk the other 10 minutes. Heck I just put “10 minutes of exercise 3 times a day” into Google and came up with 9 million hits.

Excuse # 3 I don’t have time I am a stay at home mom. When you pick your child up, pick up under the shoulders and lift once or twice and use the body resistance as a weight. Potty training? Use the door jam to do push ups off, run in place, etc.

Excuse # 4 I have some type of disability, war injury, stubbed my toe, etc. There are chair exercises and ways to adapt most exercise, be creative. Can’t think of any adaptations send me an e-mail or Facebook me and I will find one or ask around and find one.

Last and final BS excuse I won’t exercise. Fine then set down that Starbuck’s White Chocolate Frappuccino® Blended Crème at 760 calories and do some serious calorie counting. And don’t do it alone, invest in the bodybugg my best friend from high school does not exercise and has lost 45 pounds just by counting calories with the bodybugg telling her how many calories she burns everyday. You don’t have to give anything up, you just eat in moderation. Is it as good as eating wisely and exercising? No, but losing the weight and being in a healthy size will extend your life and make you more likely to exercise. I love mine. I lost 45 pounds and went from a size 16 to a size 6 in 9 months. I have also used the system to maintain that weight loss for over 7 months, and in those 7 months I have survived Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s and Easter, are there holidays that you eat more then those?

Ok now when you see the price of the bodybugg, don’t come running to me to tell me it’s to expensive or I will write you a list of why you can afford it and how too;-) If you have a flex spending account let me know, I got Ed’s covered under ours.

Now go PITA up and get healthy!!!

(Updated March 24, 2013 because Bodybugg has changed their software and the new info is at http://bodymedia.extole.com/m/1270648960)

Is there a difference between a Soccer Mom and a Football Mom?

Is there a difference between a Soccer Mom and a Football Mom?

According to my husband, the high school teacher and football coach, there must be. Since I lost 40 pounds and stopped wearing dumpy clothes, he keeps teasingly asking when I am heading to the soccer field or PTA meetings. Should I be offended? Luckily for him I am not. It feels good to have lost 40 pounds and to get to enjoy new clothes and have a new self confidence at almost 39 years old.

By now you are probably wondering what this has to do with Autism. Really it has nothing to do with it, but in reality it has everything to do with Autism. On June 15, 2004 my life changed when my youngest child was diagnosed with Autism. For the next 4 months, I read 40 hours a week on Autism, I was a one track mind “mom on a mission” (thanks Lin Wessell), and until November 8, 2008 I continued on the path to help my child and any other child I met on my way. On November 8, my world once again changed. My husband was admitted to the hospital and a few days later we were told he had a heart attack at 39.

Again you are probably wondering what this has to do with Autism. It has everything to do with Autism. We as parents, and especially us mom’s when we get the diagnoses we drop our lives and we do anything and everything Autism. One of the huge things we neglect is our health. November 8, 2008, I realized how short life is and how important health is. I made a point from that day forward to work on my health, partly for my health, but mostly for my 4 kids. I saw our family life pass before my eyes and realized that they needed one parent to live.

Luckily I have the best set of friend’s, my local mom’s night out group the PITA’s who were there to help me along the way. Victoria who recommended the bodybugg.com system, Amy who walked on what Ed refers to as our “death marches” with me everyday, and to all the others who cheered us on.

Now back to Autism, some of you may still be wondering what this has to do with Autism; it has everything to do with Autism. During Autism Action Month I want all the Autism Mom’s I know, all the PITA’s I know, to PITA up and start doing something for their own health. Stop thinking 30 minutes of exercise is selfish and start thinking it is “selfless”.

PITA up!!!

The “Good Wife”

The “Good Wife”

So I am really loving the new show “The Good Wife”, funny as that sounds this leads me to think what is “The Good Wife”

Before kids or Autism it’s the wife that has no issue with her husband hanging with the guys for poker, football, baseball, soccer, etc. After Autism it’s the wife who no matter what still gives the husband some physical attention, even if it just a quickie. Fortunately for me, I was married almost 12 years before Autism, so I actually get this.

Trust me in marriage there are days and times you do not want to be intimate. And it is probably most days. Fortunately with marriage you also learn compromise; you learn that some days you have to give it up to make sure you have a happy household.

Ok sorry if this shocks you but it is true, it’s also even more true when you have a kid with Autism. Trust me by the time you are done with Autism on any given day you are ready for a nervous break down. You are sick of not understanding what your child needs, you are sick of diaherra or constipation, you are sick of tantrumming you are sick of not having a child like your friends, you are sick of being different and most important you are sick of having to explain it to your family, friends and possibly your husband.

This being said, I have a feminist PITA/friend who does not like a certain autism organization who says the same thing I do, but in my humble opinion you sometimes have to take one for the team, and for this conversation the team is the “family”. But bottom line a happy TEAM is a family that has a chance of staying together and if the stats of more then 75 % of families get divorces I am willing to piss off the feminists!!!

Even with that I am willing to state on the web, that a couple who does the deed is a family that stays together.

That being said, I remember being a mom, “in the weeds” of Autism. And by “in the weeds” I mean, so overwhelmed in the first 3 years of diagnoses. I remember reading 40 hours a week and when my husband came home overwhelming him with information he did not want. I remember also finding ourselves clinging to each other. Of course we had 12 years of marriage and 15 years of being together to cling onto. Most parents do not have that luxury. Which is why I highly encourage you new mom’s to go out there and “cling” to your husband even when you don’t feel like it. I promise you, if you are not in an abusive relationship and you have a relationship with your husband you will end up stronger and better off because of it.

As always just my opinion and as usual PITA up!!!

What is a PITA?

What is a PITA?

For most conversations as it relates to FB, a PITA is a member of our Mom’s Night Out Group for parents of children with Autism in San Diego County. We have now expanded out to Orange County and are looking for further expansions.

A PITA by definition is a Pain In The Ass parent.

Where does the term PITA come from?
I once heard a teacher refer to parents like me as a PITA and I thought to myself, why yes I am.

Generally this answer satisfies most, but for those who push further and want to know more, here is a more broad answer…

A PITA is a parent who pushes for her child and your child no matter what she is facing, we are not a biomedical group nor are we anti-biomedical. We take all parents, we take all care givers, and we take all that fight for our children with Autism to have better lives. We are change makers. We are what the school districts, government or pharmaceutical companies try to hide from other parents. We are parents who will not be coerced into taking less for our children. We are parents who want to help other parents learn the skills we have and to give back what has been given to us. We will not take the knowledge we know and walk quietly away once we have solved our children’s problems. We will take on the world for every child we know and love and find a solution for all our children.

I am sure I missed something, but pretty much if you fall under these guidelines, you are a PITA and welcome to start a PITA group near you!!! All we ask is that you stay within the above guidelines and that you take all parents of children with Autism and make the world a better place, and when asked where you got your name, you give credit back to the OP’s the Original PITA’s of San Diego!