Saturday, July 28, 2012

Facebook, marriage and autism, NOT ALWAYS THE BEST MIX!

Since my husband thinks I bitch and complain on Facebook and then erase it so he can't see it, I'm going to bitch and complain and hope he sees it on here and possibly on my blog, of course he would have to look at my blog, without me asking, and he only checks Facebook when he thinks he I'm bitching about him, but whatever, semantics!

So he posted today on Facebook for everyone to see, that everyone should know that from "4 pm until 2 am every day he has Austin."

Two people who have a close understanding of autism, but are male, 'liked" the post. 

So I thought I set the record straight. It is now past 3 am and I am still awake with Austin.

Which leads me to address Ed's complaints about time frames and how many hours a day Ed is watching Austin.

If you do not know Austin is an almost 11 year old with autism. When he was 2 he slept 2 hours a day. Since we met TACA and GFCfEF things have gotten better, but some how summer brings out the worst in Austin and Ed. Oh wait I see a common thread here, for both it is summer vacation. Ed is a high school teacher and Austin, well he is a student, one with autism. Both are not at school (Austin is at ESY but it is not the same) and out of their normal routine. For the mom/wife that still has to maintain a normal, stable life for both, it's never fun! It is summer and both are out of their routine and I must entertain them both and keep my sanity.  Is it football yet?  (Remind me of this subject mid October, when Ed is at football 24/7)

During the school year this is a stretch, and now both of you want me to do it 24/7? With neither at school?

Something has to give.

I guess it did today, when Ed posted and I was asleep until 2 am ( I did not go to asleep at 4 pm, but I guess since I did not get home from the National Autism Society of America Conference of America until 8 pm, Ed took some liberties is writing his "story". )

So lets start with Ed's issue, that not just yesterday, but most days when Austin is up until 2 am, Ed is watching him. I agree and give Ed huge props. When we dated we both stayed up late and partied hard. After having small children, under 3, that changed. Ed took the late shift and me the early one. Then the kids got big and we could both stay up late and the kids would play quietly until we got up.

Unfortunately we made the mistake of having a second set of kids and things did not turn out so well. We went through the baby stage and not sleeping and then we hit the toddler stage of less sleep, which at that time we did not know meant autism.

Things have gotten better, a lot better, since then, but with everything we go through it cycles and I'm pretty sure when Austin wakes up at 4 am, or like today still awake at this moment at 3:43 am that now I'm the one awake.

While my husband decided to take to Facebook to bash me on Facebook I'm going to point out that parenting a child is not the same as parenting a child with autism. Most parents cycle their kids into sleep habits, most parents of children with autism don't get that luxury and become snarky with their spouses.

When you see mine or Ed's snarky Facebook posts remember that we are not your average parent. We are parents living and dealing with life and autism.


  1. I am so glad to see my husband and I are not the only ones who tit for tat every day! One day, when someone figures out why and how to completely put at rest, we will look back on all of the sleep deprived arguments, the rob peter to pay for supplements arguments, and go on a killer f*****n vacation! I am there already in my mind every day when Dominick flushes, yet another, half of roll of toilet paper down the toilet. I am angry because I have to unclog a toilet, but thrilled at the thought that my son is finally using the toilet at the ripe old age of eight. One thing I think we can be thankful for is that dammit, our marriages are going to work! Take that and shove it, AUTISM!!!

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