What do you do on the day of your child’s diagnosis? Is it a day of reflection, a day of tears (happy or sad) or is it just another day.
When Austin was diagnosed 6 years ago today, June 15, 2004, I never cried. Not once. I cried when a co worker of Ed’s child was diagnosed a year later, because I worried what she was walking into with our district.
I have cried over success and failure of friends children, but until this year I don’t think I have actually cried for me, for the Primer’s and for our losses and gains from Autism.
Some how I think this year is different. I have been weepy for the last few weeks. Not all the tears were sad and not all were happy. I have just been a mix of emotions lately. I do fear I have gone soft. SHHHH don’t tell anyone, it’s our little secret!!!!
I have cried every time I think about our Special Ed Director, Bruce Kramer, leaving Carlsbad Unified, I cry because I know what a difference he has made for Austin, and I cry because I worry about who is coming to replace him. Will it be like it was at the beginning where I had to fight for everything or will our district bring another Autism knowledgeable person in to continue Bruce’s work?
I have cried because an awesome warrior mom, Christina Martynec, who I met at the Green Our Vaccine Rally in June of 2008 and now know personally had her child undiagnosed a few weeks ago.
When Austin was diagnosed 6 years ago today, June 15, 2004, I never cried. Not once. I cried when a co worker of Ed’s child was diagnosed a year later, because I worried what she was walking into with our district.
I have cried over success and failure of friends children, but until this year I don’t think I have actually cried for me, for the Primer’s and for our losses and gains from Autism.
Some how I think this year is different. I have been weepy for the last few weeks. Not all the tears were sad and not all were happy. I have just been a mix of emotions lately. I do fear I have gone soft. SHHHH don’t tell anyone, it’s our little secret!!!!
I have cried every time I think about our Special Ed Director, Bruce Kramer, leaving Carlsbad Unified, I cry because I know what a difference he has made for Austin, and I cry because I worry about who is coming to replace him. Will it be like it was at the beginning where I had to fight for everything or will our district bring another Autism knowledgeable person in to continue Bruce’s work?
I have cried because an awesome warrior mom, Christina Martynec, who I met at the Green Our Vaccine Rally in June of 2008 and now know personally had her child undiagnosed a few weeks ago.
I have cried over Austin leaving parrell play and actually seeking kids out to play with. He may not always succeed, but he is trying. So thankful he has kids who want to help him be successful. Not just the kids at school, but kids like Paige and Julie. Tag seems to be a universal game every child can play even the non verbal ones!!!
Some how all these tears seem different then when I cried for Ed’s co worker all those years ago. Those tears were angry tears. These tears are tears for all the emotions I have felt over the last 6 years. They represent the ups and downs I have gone through. They represent my fears of the future and how I am unsure my kid will ever be recovered. They represent my thankfulness of how far we have come. They represent the things I know that I have changed and made better for the person who walks into Autism after me. They represent the things I know I still have to fight in the future.
Today not only do I reflect on my own child’s diagnosis, I reflect on those who came before me and paved the way for me and others like me. Thank you Lisa Ackerman, thank you Becky Estepp, thank you Katie Wright, thank you Dana’s view, thank you Karen L. DeFelice, thank you Dr. Wakefield, Dr. McCandless, thank you all DAN doctors who have stepped up and thank you all who I can’t mention who made a difference the for me and many others who follow us. I hope even if I change the world I live in, that I some day have the right to stand next you all, because you all changed the world for me, Austin and the entire Primer Family. We don’t have the recovered kid, but we have a completely different kid then we had 6 years ago today.
PITAup, you may not be able to change the world, but you have the ability to change the world you live in!! If it was not for someone like you, I would have had to gone home and done what our Kaiser, go home and don’t “thrive”, neurologist said and learned to live with Autism. Instead, I am today on our 6th anniversary of our Autism diagnosis, I get to reflect on the ups and down, but I know my life is better because of parents like me.
Thank you also to all that I call PITA, without you I could not get up every day and do what I do. You give me strength and courage to continue to fight. Love you all!!!
Some how all these tears seem different then when I cried for Ed’s co worker all those years ago. Those tears were angry tears. These tears are tears for all the emotions I have felt over the last 6 years. They represent the ups and downs I have gone through. They represent my fears of the future and how I am unsure my kid will ever be recovered. They represent my thankfulness of how far we have come. They represent the things I know that I have changed and made better for the person who walks into Autism after me. They represent the things I know I still have to fight in the future.
Today not only do I reflect on my own child’s diagnosis, I reflect on those who came before me and paved the way for me and others like me. Thank you Lisa Ackerman, thank you Becky Estepp, thank you Katie Wright, thank you Dana’s view, thank you Karen L. DeFelice, thank you Dr. Wakefield, Dr. McCandless, thank you all DAN doctors who have stepped up and thank you all who I can’t mention who made a difference the for me and many others who follow us. I hope even if I change the world I live in, that I some day have the right to stand next you all, because you all changed the world for me, Austin and the entire Primer Family. We don’t have the recovered kid, but we have a completely different kid then we had 6 years ago today.
PITAup, you may not be able to change the world, but you have the ability to change the world you live in!! If it was not for someone like you, I would have had to gone home and done what our Kaiser, go home and don’t “thrive”, neurologist said and learned to live with Autism. Instead, I am today on our 6th anniversary of our Autism diagnosis, I get to reflect on the ups and down, but I know my life is better because of parents like me.
Thank you also to all that I call PITA, without you I could not get up every day and do what I do. You give me strength and courage to continue to fight. Love you all!!!
