Saturday, December 25, 2010

Not My Friend

As I sit here reflecting on the holidays and on the people that I have met through the past seven years, especially those I have met via Facebook. I can’t help but think of something that my sister told me, and how if I hadn’t been open to meeting new people; I would have missed out on knowing some wonderful friends. Many of those Facebook friends I thought NO I could not be friends with them, for whatever reason, ND, Pro Vaccine, etc.

My sister is married to an awesome guy named Brian. Brian is a Marine so Tanya and Brian move every three or four years. The military and autism are very similar in that you never know what situation you are moving into or what types of people you will meet.

So my sister once told me that she prayed one prayer every time they moved. The prayer made complete sense and really should be everyone's prayer.

The difference between us and her?

Her moves are between physical locations.

The rest of us it may be as simple as between changes in life and changes in attitude. For me I know I have had many lives and have many to come. I know there are more than these but here are a few of my lives that stand out clearly...

1) Before children/marriage (for me these are one in the same but for most of you these will be separate)
2) After children/marriage before Autism
3) After autism (honestly when I met this one I thought I was done)
4) After heart disease
5) The more lives & attitudes I have to live in the future.

So here where you are wondering why this has anything to do with my sister and her prayers…

My sister walks into every new situation, praying for “just one friend” and fortunately or unfortunately (depending on how you look at this situation) the one new friend is not quite what she expected, she is not quite like the old friends she left at the base before; she is too loud (oh wait that might be me) or to quiet (oh wait that might be one of my friends), she is to something, you get the point…

She is just "not" what she expected and she thinks to herself, “This is NOT my friend!”

Luckily for all of us, God has a different plan for us, and he does understand what we need and when we need it. Just because this is not the friend we want or think we need, this is the friend we get.

My life parallels my sister’s.

I have to say that there has been many a time I thought the same thing as what she prayed. I just did not pray the prayer she said, but I thought those thoughts about someone, “THAT CAN NOT BE MY FRIEND”, yet as I type this I now LOVE & CHERISH this person as a friend, but at the moment I met them, I thought, “THAT IS NOT MY FRIEND”.

Fortunately for me “the heathen” and the rest of us heathens out there, I think God answers my sister’s prayer DAILY and heathens just have to be willing to listen to the answer.
Life changes and sometimes so does your friends. You may not understand it at the moment but it may be one of those ”not my friend moments”. So the next time you meet someone who you would like to write off, think for a moment, is this your “one friend” or is this your “that is not my friend”

My Christmas Prayer for all my friends and ESPECIALLY my friends who have a child with autism, live with autism themselves, live autism through another family member or friend, or through their occupation, I pray for you “just one friend!"

I also pray for you one friend who has been your friend before the entire BS and understands you and gets you before the Autism BS and still accepts you. If you only end up with these two friends, at any given point in your life then you are blessed and you will make it in my world, the parent of a child with Autism.

Too all that do not realize you were “not my friend” may you understand the worth of your friendship even if I never say it to you, because today I am blessed because I met you, knew you or once, or was friends with you.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I will call you friend until the day I die!!
Thank you, "Not my friend!"

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