We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility

We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It's easy to say "It's not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem." Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes. — Fred Rogers

We live in a time and a age that I am sorry, you can’t turn a blind eye and say this is not your child, not your community and not your world so by default not your problem.

Autism is a huge problem. Depending on whose numbers you are going on it is either 1 child in 91 or 1 child in 110. This is a problem, for that matter no matter what the idiots at the CDC say this is an epidemic and it’s not GOING AWAY. Polio was an epidemic at 1 in 3000; again I ask the question why no one notices the difference or why no one in our government cares. I know that answer, and its Money, the money our government makes off vaccines and other big businesses, but that is not this blogs purpose.

This blog is about what are we going to do to support those parents of those 1 in 110 children and especially those parents who get 2 kids with Autism. This is not an easy life, I only started blogging on April 6, and this is the 2nd blog I have written on a parent of a child or children with Autism murdering their child with Autism.

I am honestly sorry I listened to the 911 tape, it is truly heart breaking listening to this mom say she killed her two young children and reading the news reports that say she wanted normal children. I cried, I wept, and I still feel like a piece of my heart was broken 2 days later.

As a parent of 3 “normal children” and one child with Autism, we all want NORMAL kids, WTF; we do not take wire to our children that do not fit the norm. We do not kill them.

I will say that had we continued on the path we were on when we met Autism on June 15, 2004 maybe I would have on been on this path too, but I really do not think so. At the point I was at my child slept 2 hours a day, ran full force into walls, he was like the Tasmanian devil and dumped everything out in his path, he pulled everything out of the fridge when given the opportunity, colored non stop and we bought a case of paper a month, and we have not even got to his health. He also at almost 3 years old had liquid poop, like that of a formula feed child and only ate & drank milk, cheese, wonder bread, cereal, and macaroni and cheese. He also had a distended belly and looked like he had two black eyes. He looked like death was just hovering over!

At that point in my life I do not know what I would have done if I was a single parent or a parent who did not have 2 awesome teens who stepped up and let Ed and I sleep. I like to believe I would never become that sleep deprived or insane that I would kill my child.

I think the difference between this mom and me? I found help, real help, not some organization that said and still says they speak for me but instead buys office supplies and a Park Avenue office, but an organization that really helps families newly diagnosed to Autism and what to expect and how help your child and how to learn to get help from the system to help your child.

Honestly I want every parent to find what I have! It is one of the reasons why I created this blog and our local Mom’s Night Out group. I think just realizing you are not alone is huge in our world. If you are a parent of a child with Autism and have not found yahoo groups, let me tell you are missing out on a huge resource. 6 years ago when I walked into Autism there was really no local resources, I learned everything from yahoo groups. It’s actually how I found TACA. I found some Gluten free Casein free groups and started following Dana of Dana’s View and ended up in a local yahoo group.

Without Dana’s View my life would be completely different!!! I might be the parent in the story above. But I am not and I truly hope all my friends who do not have Autism in their lives pass my story on to people who do have Autism in their lives. I want people to know there is hope, there is a better way and that they can reach out and get that help. If you are in that place in Autism where you are thinking about hurting yourself or your children, instead reach out to one of us other parents and ask for help. Or call 911 or drive directly to the hospital and ask for help. It is out there and we all want you to have it.

I am going to close this with a quote from my fellow PITA Simran Garcia, “Yes Autism is overwheming but we can do this.”

So as usual, PITAup change your life and the life of someone with Autism!

*Please note any links that are in green and underlined twice are being linked by the blog, and are not being linked by me and do not represent anything I am promoting.*

Old Favorites

Since I have some new parents who follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and read the blog, I thought I would review an old favorite since they recently introduced some new flavors. These products are all GFCFEF, not soy free. The have an awesome Allergy Alert for those who worry about cross contamination. I love companies that do not make you search for answers like this! They have this alert on several of their web pages.

Kinnikinnick animal cookies, for once this is a GFCFEF product that got it 100% right the first time!!!! Kinnikinnick animal cookies are just as disgusting as the original animal cookie and that is a GREAT thing! There purpose and usefulness are awesome from a parent's perception! Kid’s first and foremost love them. Animal cookies are a great teething cooking for smaller children. The mush up properly causing very little chance for choking and get all over toddler hands and then all over your clothes and you look like you rolled in a vat of talc or chalk. Ok the last part might not be awesome, but it’s a right of passage in parenting. These disgusting little cookies are winning big raves with all the PITA kids even the not GFCFEF kids! The kids that hang out in our smaller sub PITA group (our group that hangs out together every weekend, kids ages range from 13 months to 10 years old). Everyone will eat these puppies, I mean animal cookies!!!

They have also just come up with two equally unappealing versions Graham Style and Chocolate, which all the children love as well. As a parent I'm all for these disgusting treats if all the kids are, I just wish they were soy free. I think in my world sf and ef are not compatible but companies who cater to our community need to realize GFCFEFSF is where it is at! When we started the diet 6 years ago GFCF was recommended today by our local support group Talk About Curing Autism now, but today the tacanow.org website recommends everyone start GFCFSF. In my experience on this journey there is at least 25% of us that add in egg free due to allergies or IgG tests that recommend it. Egg allergies are huge now days due to many vaccines that have been grown on eggs and IMHO cause allergies to eggs! I think in a few years the majority of parents and support groups will be suggesting starting with GFCFEFSF.

Until my next time, PITAup and make the world a better place for all our kids, but especially those with Autism

Talk About Curing Autism Now Family Picnic

Yesterday we attended the TACA family picnic. As usual it is one of our MOST favorite days of the years. The kids had fun, the parents had fun, and over all it gets 2 thumbs up from everyone who attended with us.

I want to take a moment to thank all the volunteers and TACA office staff. You once again out did yourselves. It’s nice to be able to go to a picnic where everything is safe for Austin to eat and also delish!!!

If you were not able to attend you missed some really really really good food. I want to take a moment to also thank all the food venders and give their companies a plug. I think my most favorite food was a new item that thankfully Susan Kristie came and found me and told me I had to try. Thanks Susan!!!

That item was the NuLife foods (which all their foods are Gluten Free, Casein Free and Soy Free) Chicken Burger Patties, these are also egg free. It got two thumbs up from everyone in our party. It was so good that Austin and another child in our group chose to eat the chicken burger instead of the much preferred Fritos. That in of itself is just about amazing, but to top that my anti-chicken husband also loved it. When they had extra boxes of uncooked patties, they offered them to Picnic Guests to take home. Eddie Garcia said that he turned to look and Carissa and I were a puff of smoke!!! (Guess what hubby asked to have for dinner tonight?) I went and checked out their website and they have a lot of other great items like Chicken Pancakes that I want to now try. They also have some exciting new products coming out like Breakfast Empanada, Apple Pie Empanada, and Mashed Sweet Potatoes. Their website also offers you the ability to search by Allergen beyond GFCFSF. (Oh and the company rep I met yesterday, swears this is not even their most popular product, I guess they better send me some so I can taste test their other products, lol)

Update *7/3/10* you can get a NuLife trial pack for on $10, with special discount code Enter TRYME01 in the Promotion Code box in your cart (good for only 1 use per customer)!!! (Basically its like getting shipping for free. And for the price of shipping you can add one more item to try)

Includes:

8 chicken nuggets
2 chicken burgers
8 beefy veggy meatballs
2 slices of ultimate cheese pizza
2 pieces of French toast
4 chocolate chip cookies

Newport Rib Company was also their with splendid pulled pork and beef sandwiches. As always these were a favorite amongst the entire group. It’s hard to believe that the BBQ sauce is GFCF. The have an excellent GFCF menu offered at their local Orange County, California restaurants.

In-N-Out burger was also in the house. For those of you who do not know you can safely eat GFCF at In-N-Out if you just let the cashier know. They have a separate grill where they grill GF hamburgers and will wrap them up protein style and the fries are always safe since only fries are friend in their fryers.

La Rancherita was also at the picnic serving up the cutest little tacos. I did not personally try these after being stuffed with a chicken burger and pull pork sandwich, but many PITA families ate them and enjoyed them.

For snacks there were also plenty to choose from. An old favorite was back, Green Cupcakes. The first year they attended the picnic, about the 8th mini cupcake Austin ate, Ed turned to me and said, “Are you going to let him eat another one?” I looked at him as was like “hell yes”. We had just become egg free and here was a soft, delicious cupcake that GFCFEF. They did not fail to please again this year. I am sure Austin and our friend Julie ate at least 8 each.

Other great snacks included Lucy’s Gluten Free Cookies (made without milk, eggs, peanuts or tree nuts), Pamela's Cookies (produced to be wheat-free and gluten-free, products are produced in a facility which also makes products containing: peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, eggs and soy), EnerG Pretzels (free of gluten, wheat, dairy, casein, soy, egg, nut, low protein. May contain Sesame and Poppy seed.)& Cinnamon Crackers (free of gluten, wheat, casein, dairy, yeast, egg, soy, nut, rice, low protein). If I missed any of the other vendor please let me know because I am more then happy to give them a shout out also!!!

As always please PITAup and check out the awesome sponsors of TACA. Gluten Free Casein free has come a long way since we started June 16, 2004 and the Primer family is most appreciative of the opportunity to have a fun family day with good food, great friends and an awesome Autism Charity!!! Thanks to everyone who helped make it a perfect day!!!

Ever wonder what is a life changing event?

Ever wonder what is a life changing event? Ever wondering how many life changing events one person can have? I have…

For me they stand out pretty clearly. The first was having cancer, the second was having children, the third was having diagnoses of Autism and the fourth was having diagnoses of heart disease.

Ok that might be a bit deceiving because I have never had cancer, Autism or heart disease but I have lived through them all, and I am only 38!!! I have lived through my boyfriend, soon to be husband having cancer when I was 17, having kids at 18, my youngest child’s diagnoses of Autism and my husband having a heart attack when he was 39.

I always thought Autism would be the MOST life changing event, but I was wrong. The heart attack was. Surprise surprise.

The heart attack made me really think of how short life is. It made everything go into perspective; it made me realize I wanted to live. I guess that is what is different before kids and after kids, because cancer should have done that, right?

Nope.

As mom’s we are notorious for taking care of everyone but ourselves, and that becomes ten-fold after the diagnoses of Autism. I remember those first 9 months reading 40 hours a week on Autism. While most of you may think I live Autism now, trust me, this is the calm me. I know hard to believe, but free to ask Ed, Ashley & Nick. Before I get a 100 Facebook posts (since I know no one comments here, lol) yelling at me for not including Emily, I will point out it is different because she has only known a life with Autism, because Austin was like this since she was 3 and he was about 18 months.)

Ok back to the subject at hand, taking care of ourselves. You have to do it. You are not getting any younger, and the kids they are getting bigger and stronger every day. Eventually they will be able to out run us and you darn well better starve off that day as long as you can!!!

First let’s get rid of the excuse you are now yelling at the computer.

Excuse #1 taking time for me is SELFISH. I am pulling out the BS card on this one and telling no its not, it SELFLESS!! The better your health the easier it is on hubby and the kidlets!! The better you feel the better the household feels and runs.

Excuse #2 I don’t have the time, I work fulltime. Again I am pulling out the BS card you have the time. Every parent I know watches at least one 30 minute TV show a day, either give that up or exercise while you watch. If you work and you say you are too tired at the end of the day, again I say BS. You are entitled to two fifteen minute a day breaks and at least a 30 minute break for an 8 hour shift. Walk quickly for 10 of those 15 minutes and go to the bathroom in the other 5, and to make it more difficult take the walk up the stairs if you can. At lunch walk the other 10 minutes. Heck I just put “10 minutes of exercise 3 times a day” into Google and came up with 9 million hits.

Excuse # 3 I don’t have time I am a stay at home mom. When you pick your child up, pick up under the shoulders and lift once or twice and use the body resistance as a weight. Potty training? Use the door jam to do push ups off, run in place, etc.

Excuse # 4 I have some type of disability, war injury, stubbed my toe, etc. There are chair exercises and ways to adapt most exercise, be creative. Can’t think of any adaptations send me an e-mail or Facebook me and I will find one or ask around and find one.

Last and final BS excuse I won’t exercise. Fine then set down that Starbuck’s White Chocolate Frappuccino® Blended Crème at 760 calories and do some serious calorie counting. And don’t do it alone, invest in the bodybugg my best friend from high school does not exercise and has lost 45 pounds just by counting calories with the bodybugg telling her how many calories she burns everyday. You don’t have to give anything up, you just eat in moderation. Is it as good as eating wisely and exercising? No, but losing the weight and being in a healthy size will extend your life and make you more likely to exercise. I love mine. I lost 45 pounds and went from a size 16 to a size 6 in 9 months. I have also used the system to maintain that weight loss for over 7 months, and in those 7 months I have survived Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s and Easter, are there holidays that you eat more then those?

Ok now when you see the price of the bodybugg, don’t come running to me to tell me it’s to expensive or I will write you a list of why you can afford it and how too;-) If you have a flex spending account let me know, I got Ed’s covered under ours.

Now go PITA up and get healthy!!!

(Updated March 24, 2013 because Bodybugg has changed their software and the new info is at http://bodymedia.extole.com/m/1270648960)

Why does the little blue puzzle piece and its organization not speak for me?

Why does the little blue puzzle piece and its organization not speak for me?

I get asked this question A LOT!!! Well today they do not Speak for me, because they take the money out of the pockets of great charities that actually help parents. My wonderful friend, Cindy Killeen Waeltermann, today is worried about her awesome little charity not making it because of “No money. Tired of making ends meet. Autism Speaks wins”.

An example of how Cindy’s charity helped me personally is that a few months ago when a fellow San Diego PITA asked for help for a friend that went to college with her, Cindy and her charity were the first to help out. Cindy personally sent me a message on how to get the child an evaluation ASAP. This is a mom, who started a charity because she wants to get kids services and her charity reflects that. When she posts on Facebook about “events” they are doing, many of those are events are kid related, not just about raising money. When was the last time the little blue puzzle piece threw a party for the kids with Autism? When did they do a conference to educate new parents with Autism? When did they sponsor a parent of a child with Autism to go to a conference? Honestly what have they done for me lately, oh wait they have not done a damn thing for me ever!!!!

Today, my older son Nick, who turns 18 in a few days and is realizing that he will have to go to a junior college because of lack of funds asked me what Autism Charity gave scholarships to siblings of children with Autism? I laughed and challenged him to get the little blue puzzle piece to do it, so I could stop bitching about them. Well hopefully his hopes are not high because I am sure that they will fail him just like they have failed his brother and his parents for the past 6 years. Instead of helping me or anyone I know they have instead used their money for a very fancy Park Avenue office and bad mouthed the daughter of the founder for believing in biomedical help for Autism.

So if you are still wondering why you should not donate to the little blue puzzle piece and their big fat NY offices, remember that of the $60 MILLION donated last year only $837,000 were donated to expand Autism services, so do the math less then 1/60 of their revenue, $341,000 went to expanding recreational services, but that does not mean any child actually saw a recreation service it means they were expanding them.

Yet they paid $1.3 Million on advertising, their chief science officer got $669.000, yes you read that correctly they got almost as much was used to “expand Autism Services” and twice as much as was used to “expand recreational services”
There are so many more stats that I could fill up the library of congress, ok maybe that is a bit far fetched, but I could at least fill up at least the Carlsbad Library with their wasted funds.

Here is a couple of awesome youtube videos on this subject if you want more info:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fc_qtWxMes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S-9yQrsras

So PITA up and help the little charities that help real families right now.

Here are a few of our favorite ones

www.firstgiving.com/austinprimer (Talk about curing autism now)
http://www.sd-autism.org/givingPrograms.html
www.surfershealing.com
https://ssl.charityweb.net/genrescue/ (Generation rescue)
www.autismlink.com
www.nationalautismassociation.org/

”She should label that kid" and Tanya said, ”Yes like the book the Scarlet Letter or mark you with a capital I for idiot!”

Seriously, what are we getting for 60 million dollars? Does anyone know?

Because I am always being told that Autism Speaks at the very least (and I use that term loosely while my faces contorts into some gawd awful look) promotes Autism Awareness.

If we are getting Autism Awareness after all those walks and all that cash, I want to know why I’m up at 3:29 am pissed off that I again have to educate some ignorant Disneyland employee about Autism. $60 million is a lot of money, and we should have a whole hell of a lot of Awareness going on. No wonder most of us have to call it Autism Action Month, come on Autism Speaks send some money to California to educate Disneyland employees to not yell at children with Autism who are walking independently and staying with their big person, even though it was through the stroller exit and wasn't through your stupid turnstiles, the ignorant British woman who told me not to yell at the staff and “idiot” guy who wanted to put a label on my child. The worst part is I swear at least once a year I have to march into City Hall and give this lecture. When is Disney going to educate the entire staff, because I am tired of doing it myself? (OH and the quiet room will not being making me quiet, nope not this time, not ever when it comes to Autism Awareness and Action!!!)

Seriously the numbers are 1 in 91 we can’t be the first person with Autism that these 3 ignorant people have met, can we? OK maybe we can, but I am sure we will be the most memorable. Especially after I told the British lady that in this country children like mine had rights and laws to protect them while her husband sized up my husband and wondered if he could take us if he needed to. Sorry lady, I don’t care if you were a foot taller then me, my scrappy little American arse could have taken you and your husband out, and you do not mess with a mommy on mission to protect her child from ignorance!!!

Ok so here is the challenge of the day, if Autism Speaks, who doesn’t speak for the Primers and can’t make people “aware”, I guess it is up to all of us in Autism Action month to do it. So PITA Up and make the world a better place by taking some Action on Awareness today!!! (OH and Disneyland you can thank me later for not publishing your phone number at the end of this and asking my 521 Facebook friends to call you and complain too!!!)

Disneyland, 10 year olds birthday, 12 kidlets.

Not enough mimosas, lol!

iPod Touch one of the best inventions EVER!!!

Wants the world to know how great the iPod touch is! Honestly it may be the best invention ever, at least for my household and a few of my friends’ households. It has even passed up the baby wipe and the Ziploc bag in my top two inventions ever, and you all know how much I love my iPhone, computer and internet. Funny thing is I should be blogging about http://proloquo2go.com/ which is awesome, and my friend Malinda would tell you it changed her life.

Malinda Cook says, “The proloquo2go program on the iTouch has changed my life as well as my non-verbal daughter! Since we started using the program in October 2009, she has been able to communicate her wants and needs much better. She uses the program at home as well as at school. I was able to customize it to her needs – proloque2go is so easy to use and program! I recommend it to anyone who needs a communication device for their child. There are 1000’s of icons that are not only up to date but familiar to children – no more stick figures. You can also download you own pictures easily. I highly recommend proloquo2go.”

We just got our proloquo2go.com in December and we are seeing nice progress in communication and we happen to think it’s great also. We especially love it since after 5 devices in 5 years we have one we can program our self and are not dependant on a speech teacher to do it. LOVE THAT!!!!

The part I never expected was games, or apps that can be downloaded on to an iTouch. As a wife of a video game addict and mother of 3 other children who also love to play video games, I love that Austin at 8.5 is now playing video games, even if they are just the toddler ones! I was often jealous of my fellow PITA’s who had kids that played video games and often wondered how much easier my life would be if my kid was a video game addict (how lazy does that sound? lol).

Well Thursday night I got that pleasure. We sat at quietly at That Pizza Place in Carlsbad, enjoyed adult conversation with out of town guests and Austin did not object. Ok he got up and tried to run a way a few times, but he sat and played for a long time. After 8.5 years of having Austin this was huge for us. Even my sister could not believe how well he did. If you haven’t thought about buying your kid an iTouch, I am highly recommending it and give it 2 thumbs way up!!!

Ok while thanking things that have us gotten here, I should include, we could not have done it with it out TACAnow.org, GFCFSFEFAF (ok it feels like a million things free), Houston Enzymes, Dana’s View, and all the wonderful PITA’s who showed me the way.

So as usual PITAup, and don’t be like my friend Nicole and think anything bad about up after the A. ;-)

Think of it like Cowboy up, lol. Change the world, be a PITA, and PITAUP!!!

Is there a difference between a Soccer Mom and a Football Mom?

Is there a difference between a Soccer Mom and a Football Mom?

According to my husband, the high school teacher and football coach, there must be. Since I lost 40 pounds and stopped wearing dumpy clothes, he keeps teasingly asking when I am heading to the soccer field or PTA meetings. Should I be offended? Luckily for him I am not. It feels good to have lost 40 pounds and to get to enjoy new clothes and have a new self confidence at almost 39 years old.

By now you are probably wondering what this has to do with Autism. Really it has nothing to do with it, but in reality it has everything to do with Autism. On June 15, 2004 my life changed when my youngest child was diagnosed with Autism. For the next 4 months, I read 40 hours a week on Autism, I was a one track mind “mom on a mission” (thanks Lin Wessell), and until November 8, 2008 I continued on the path to help my child and any other child I met on my way. On November 8, my world once again changed. My husband was admitted to the hospital and a few days later we were told he had a heart attack at 39.

Again you are probably wondering what this has to do with Autism. It has everything to do with Autism. We as parents, and especially us mom’s when we get the diagnoses we drop our lives and we do anything and everything Autism. One of the huge things we neglect is our health. November 8, 2008, I realized how short life is and how important health is. I made a point from that day forward to work on my health, partly for my health, but mostly for my 4 kids. I saw our family life pass before my eyes and realized that they needed one parent to live.

Luckily I have the best set of friend’s, my local mom’s night out group the PITA’s who were there to help me along the way. Victoria who recommended the bodybugg.com system, Amy who walked on what Ed refers to as our “death marches” with me everyday, and to all the others who cheered us on.

Now back to Autism, some of you may still be wondering what this has to do with Autism; it has everything to do with Autism. During Autism Action Month I want all the Autism Mom’s I know, all the PITA’s I know, to PITA up and start doing something for their own health. Stop thinking 30 minutes of exercise is selfish and start thinking it is “selfless”.

PITA up!!!

Why is Temple Grandin different then the rest of the crowd?

Why is Temple Grandin different then the rest of the crowd?

Temple Grandin, Ph.D., is different from the rest of the crowd because she the most well-known and probably the most vocal adult with autism in the world. Like most parents with children with Autism her parents were told she should be institutionalized. Thankfully her parents like many parents I know did not listen to that and she is now a renowned author and works as a Professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University. Templin also is a well known speaker on both autism and cattle handling.

From Emergence: Labeled Autistic, Temple has said, "I have read enough to know that there are still many parents, and yes, professionals too, who believe that 'once autistic, always autistic.' This dictum has meant sad and sorry lives for many children diagnosed, as I was in early life, as autistic. To these people, it is incomprehensible that the characteristics of autism can be modified and controlled. However, I feel strongly that I am living proof that they can".

Despite the above quote the Autism News still titles their Feb. 2, 2010 article “Temple Grandin warns against ‘curing’ autism”. I personally do not read this quote as saying that, “I believe there’s a point where mild autistic traits are just normal human variation. Mild autism can give you a genius like Einstein. If you have severe autism, you could remain nonverbal. You don’t want people to be on the severe end of the spectrum. But if you got rid of all the autism genetics, you wouldn’t have science or art. All you would have is a bunch of social ‘yak yaks.’” (http://www.theautismnews.com/2010/02/02/temple-grandin-warns-against-curing-autism/

While a lot of high functioning people with Autism and Aspergers do object to “recovery” or “curing” a child with Autism, I believe Temple has PITA’ed up and said while she would not change herself she is not opposed to helping our kids who are not HFA“. For a parent of child who most consider low functioning, I think this is wonderful that she can see the difference. I wish others could too. I would never ever take away my child’s “normal human variation”, but I also do not want to leave him in the autism alone. Before diet and enzymes he colored and spinned 22 hours a day and thought of me as nothing more then the furniture. 6 years later he has a smile that lights up a room, and when he looks at you and smiles because he knows you it could melt even Frosty the snowman.

I hope someday he can be as accomplished as Temple, and tell his thoughts and opinions on the subject of Autism. Not only do I think Temple is pretty special so does TIME magazine, you can now vote in “The 2010 TIME 100 Poll for the leaders, artists, innovators and icons who you think merit spots on this year's list of the 100 most influential people in the world”

http://tiny.cc/fo4em

I hope everyone who thinks like me takes the time to vote, let’s show the world that some one with Autism can be the most influential person of the world.

As always PITAup and vote for Temple!!!

If you like my blogs please become a follower and leave a comment.

The “Good Wife”

The “Good Wife”

So I am really loving the new show “The Good Wife”, funny as that sounds this leads me to think what is “The Good Wife”

Before kids or Autism it’s the wife that has no issue with her husband hanging with the guys for poker, football, baseball, soccer, etc. After Autism it’s the wife who no matter what still gives the husband some physical attention, even if it just a quickie. Fortunately for me, I was married almost 12 years before Autism, so I actually get this.

Trust me in marriage there are days and times you do not want to be intimate. And it is probably most days. Fortunately with marriage you also learn compromise; you learn that some days you have to give it up to make sure you have a happy household.

Ok sorry if this shocks you but it is true, it’s also even more true when you have a kid with Autism. Trust me by the time you are done with Autism on any given day you are ready for a nervous break down. You are sick of not understanding what your child needs, you are sick of diaherra or constipation, you are sick of tantrumming you are sick of not having a child like your friends, you are sick of being different and most important you are sick of having to explain it to your family, friends and possibly your husband.

This being said, I have a feminist PITA/friend who does not like a certain autism organization who says the same thing I do, but in my humble opinion you sometimes have to take one for the team, and for this conversation the team is the “family”. But bottom line a happy TEAM is a family that has a chance of staying together and if the stats of more then 75 % of families get divorces I am willing to piss off the feminists!!!

Even with that I am willing to state on the web, that a couple who does the deed is a family that stays together.

That being said, I remember being a mom, “in the weeds” of Autism. And by “in the weeds” I mean, so overwhelmed in the first 3 years of diagnoses. I remember reading 40 hours a week and when my husband came home overwhelming him with information he did not want. I remember also finding ourselves clinging to each other. Of course we had 12 years of marriage and 15 years of being together to cling onto. Most parents do not have that luxury. Which is why I highly encourage you new mom’s to go out there and “cling” to your husband even when you don’t feel like it. I promise you, if you are not in an abusive relationship and you have a relationship with your husband you will end up stronger and better off because of it.

As always just my opinion and as usual PITA up!!!

What is a PITA?

What is a PITA?

For most conversations as it relates to FB, a PITA is a member of our Mom’s Night Out Group for parents of children with Autism in San Diego County. We have now expanded out to Orange County and are looking for further expansions.

A PITA by definition is a Pain In The Ass parent.

Where does the term PITA come from?
I once heard a teacher refer to parents like me as a PITA and I thought to myself, why yes I am.

Generally this answer satisfies most, but for those who push further and want to know more, here is a more broad answer…

A PITA is a parent who pushes for her child and your child no matter what she is facing, we are not a biomedical group nor are we anti-biomedical. We take all parents, we take all care givers, and we take all that fight for our children with Autism to have better lives. We are change makers. We are what the school districts, government or pharmaceutical companies try to hide from other parents. We are parents who will not be coerced into taking less for our children. We are parents who want to help other parents learn the skills we have and to give back what has been given to us. We will not take the knowledge we know and walk quietly away once we have solved our children’s problems. We will take on the world for every child we know and love and find a solution for all our children.

I am sure I missed something, but pretty much if you fall under these guidelines, you are a PITA and welcome to start a PITA group near you!!! All we ask is that you stay within the above guidelines and that you take all parents of children with Autism and make the world a better place, and when asked where you got your name, you give credit back to the OP’s the Original PITA’s of San Diego!