Missing in San Diego

Living in San Diego it’s really hard to not worry about your child going missing. Hey we have the unfortunate misfortune to boast Chelsea King, Amber Dubois and Danielle Van Dam to our San Diego missing “hall of fame”. It’s almost scary how often it happens here, and makes national news. For me personally I often wonder how many missing children are not as fortunate as our top three candidates.

And but by "fortunate", I DO NOT MEAN ANYTHING GOOD!!! I mean they had PITA’s for parents, their parents fought hard for them, they kept their children in the news and they made sure there was justice for them.

Not every missing child is that fortunate, not every child gets that opportunity. How many children have gone missing in San Diego County since Feb. 2, 2002 when Danielle went missing? Does anyone know? I could not find any hard concrete numbers on this, but I know that from the news coverage, most people only know of the above 3 girls, and I am positive there are many, many more missing children.

As a parent of a child with Autism, a child who is a huge flight risk, I know there will be more in our future. Our numbers of children with Autism now ranks at 1:110 kids; our kids have a higher chance of becoming like the three angels above, because they are extra vulnerable and are more likely to be taken advantage of then the average child due to their social deficits. The social deficits, leaves our higher functioning kids with autism especially vulnerable to child molesters, bullies and many other people who do not have their best interests at heart, because our children want to be accepted. Then add into the mix our non verbal, escape artist children with Autism and most of the Autism population is at risk for going missing.

So what brings these two unique groups of people together? The fact that Amber Dubious Family has already held one Search and Rescue class, and now they will be bringing another one to San Diego. They brought it to help girls like Chelsea, Amber and Danielle, but ultimately it will benefit any child who goes missing. These classes are meant to address how to search and rescue missing people. It is a training class in the proper police techniques on how to help police and not hinder the police investigation in the search and recovery process of missing people. As a parent of a potentially missing child with Autism I think this is doubly awesome and will benefit multiple groups of missing person organizations.

Long story short, the more people trained the better off all of us in San Diego are!!!

Short end of the story, if you have a child with Autism, a parent with Alzheimer’s or any other person at risk to come up missing, you should think about taking this class for yourself and the rest of the community.

If you don’t fit in the above categories you should take the class to be a Good Samaritan when one of the above set of people goes missing. The more trained, the more people to search, the more people searching the more likely we are to bring home any missing person home alive.

To read more on what these classes entail you can read about them here. Click Events & Volunteers.

After clicking Click Events & Volunteers…

Click on:
SAR Letter
&
Outline of class

As I post this there is only information on the last class that was already held, but click on those links because it’s great info. I will update this info when they post registration for the Memorial Weekend class.

I have not personally met Chelsea, Amber, or Danielle’s parents, but I am pretty sure today I can speak for them and all the future missing children with or without disabilities that you should PITAup and go to the Search and Rescue Training Memorial weekend. Their families need the public support now, and the best way to show the families we support them is to go to the training. So please register to protect all San Diego children, no matter who they are, no matter if they have a disability, just volunteer to protect all our children.

The life you save may not be the one you expect.

Until Next time PITAup and Change the world one person at a time, I know that Chelsea, Amber, Danielle and Autism have done that for me, please pay it forward in their memory!!!

Autism Lives Here

When you become a parent you know there is going to be times when you worry. You know you will worry about how children will change your marriage or relationship, you worry if you be a good parent, you worry if you can provide everything a child will need and you worry for your child’s future.

As a parent of a child with Autism, these worries are compounded to the "n"th degree, instead of just the above worries you also worry about your entire family’s future, and how a child with Autism will impact your other children’s present and future. You worry about your sanity due the constant having to fight for everything my child needs to be as independent as possible in the future, you worry that your child may never be independent in even the simplest ways like potty training, crossing the street alone, preparing their own meals, cleaning up after themselves, living independently, surviving once you are deceased and I am sure a million more I have missed or have yet to think of.

Then you read a story, like the one published Tuesday, April 27, 2010 in The Independent, about a father, age 44, and son, with Autism, age 22 being found in what appears to be another murder/suicide of a child with Autism. It makes parents like me think again that we are not worried enough, we don’t fight enough and there is no way for us to plan enough.

It is also makes parents like me wonder and worry about when the United States Government and our elected officials are going to even worry about our children with Autism. If the numbers are already 1 in 110 children have Autism, when will the number be high enough for them to worry? How many more precious lives have to be lost due to a parent not having enough support, enough help or a child not getting enough services to help them survive and live as independently as possible?

I can tell you it is not anytime soon. The government, especially our state governments, is cutting services on a daily basis from families, like ours and the one in the news story. These types of things are going to be happening more in the future, this was the 2nd such story I have read in the last 3 months. The 1st was from The NY Daily News on February 5th 2010. The child in this story was only 8 years old, the same age as my child, Austin.

I don’t want this for my future or any ones future, won’t you PITAup and ask our government to make a difference in the life of their constituents’?

You can contact your federal and state representatives and let them know you concerned about families like the ones in these stories and families you actually know. You can contact your U.S. Senators here and you can contact your House of Representatives here. In California, you can find the contact information for your State Senators here, other states will need to Google the information.

Don’t let Autism Die this way, show our families some compassion and let us and our children live to our fullest potential.

Big Shout Out!!!

Now don’t fall out of your chairs, I feel a compliment coming on here. Ok that part is not really that shocking, it’s for whom the compliment is for, that may surprise you.

I want to say how much I really and truly love Austin’s teacher this year. Her and the teacher of the 3-5 grade Severely Handicapped classrooms at Hope Elementary are outstanding.

Our teachers are so awesome because they are fundraising for every child in their two classrooms to have iPod Touches loaded with Proloquo2go and other apps on them. Ok every child except Austin. Austin is already getting one through the school district, even though it might be next year before we actually begin using theirs and stop using ours. (Rolls eyes, got to love the School district and how long purchase orders can take).

While to me this kind of action is not surprising, I think it may surprise many. I think a lot of teachers get a bad rap. Now I agree there are some bad teachers out there, I have had one or two, Mr. Hoyle comes to mind (I know all you CBAD grads are now laughing to yourself and hearing his monotone voice say, “Get rid of it”), but I think most teachers get into teaching for all the right reasons. Being the wife of a teacher I might be a tad prejudiced though.

Teaching is truly the worst customer service job out there. Not only do you have to please the parents, the students, the principal, and the public, you get to do it while being underpaid and in the times of budget cuts having to worry about losing your job. If you are a special education teacher or have any special education students in your class, you also get the worry of being sued personally if something goes wrong with implementing FAPE and IEP’s.

In customer service you generally only get to hear how you are doing, when you are doing it wrong. So today your PITAup challenge is to look and see if you have one of those hidden gems of a teachers, teacher’s assistant, or any school district employee who is doing an exceptional job and thank them. Maybe pick up a thank you card or some treat for them, but at the very least say it out loud to them and if you can within ear shot of their boss.

So to Liz and Michelle, I just want to give you a shout out and say thanks for all you do for Austin and all his classmates!!!

Until next time PITAup!!

Risking “life or lung” for autism.

Risking “life or lung” for autism. I know the correct statement is “risking life or limb”, but not in my world. In my world its life or lung!!!

When we started enzymes 5.5 years ago with Austin, I quickly realized that I was allergic to them. It started with small panic attacks, which were really asthma attacks and continued to get worse when I was exposed to the powder. 3 years ago I ended up walking to the fire department which was 4 houses from mine and then at the ER after Austin dumped a ¼ of a bottle of Houston's AFP-Peptizyde HN004-P 200 dose bulk powder, with cellulose. I knew even before I turned around what had happened. I could feel my lungs closing, I could breathe in but not out. I really and truly thought I might die at any moment. Luckily for me my older children were home, I got one of them and without explanation handed Austin to them and walked out of the house. As I tried to calm myself down I realized I had no choice but to go to the fire department. I had my cell phone but was afraid if I called 911 they would not be able to find me. I was also fearful that if I did not hurry and get to the fire department that I might pass out right there on the side of the road and not be found until it was to late. Fortunately when I got to the fire department they were home and they quickly gave me an albuterol inhalation treatment.

That night at the fire department and again in the ER I was told I should just stop giving the enzymes to Austin. I looked at them like they were crazy while they looked at me like I was crazy.

What’s the point of this story is the simple one; I would do anything for any of my children to make them feel better even risk my own life. I know this concept is hard for some but it is not for a mother. The thing I don’t understand is why this surprises people. When your children are born something happens that you can’t explain. A feeling comes over you; a feeling of protection. You just want to protect that little being from everything. You would risk your life or even die for your children, because life would not be worth living without them.

Anaphylactic reaction or not, I would do anything to help recover my son, Austin. I do now have an EpiPen and inhaler with me at all times though. Bottom line I am in this for the long haul…I am a Wife, a Mother, a PITA!

If you want to learn more about enzymes you can here.

Warning: I will photograph you in the handicapped spots at the Elementary School and post them on FB and my blog!

There is nothing more annoying then someone who does not have a handicap placard and parks in a handicap parking space, in the stripped loading zone between the handicap parking spaces or in the handicapped loading zones in front of buildings.

In the Hope Elementary parking lot we have 2 handicap spots and one loading area in front of the school. The buses and handicap transportation vans all park in front of or near the later area about 15-20 minutes before school get out and leave by at least 5 minutes before school lets out. On non rainy days this works out wonderfully because that is when the parents of disabled children who do not ride the bus pull in as the others leave and we can easily get pick up their child up in a safe manner of the 2 spots are filled.

Many of you who have long followed me on Facebook know how many times I have posted on this subject before. It annoyed me so much that I even occasionally posted pictures of the offending car that has illegally parked at least once a week since the beginning of school. The week of the time change, the worst offender parked there every day that week and I finally said something to her. I was nice and polite, but I did explain how it was against the law and rude. So far, at least in my presence, she has not repeated it.

So yesterday it rained and on rainy days, here in “sunny” California parents think little “Johnny” and “Suzy” will surely melt like the “Wicked Witch” if they are touch by one tiny drop of rain. This makes the parents crazed and they all fight for the area the busses were in. The majority of that area is all red curbed just like the rest of where the regular education kids load and unload, but there is an approximately 12 foot spot that is clearly painted blue, has a wheel chair ramp and a legal blue sign stating it is for handicap loading. Just because its not an actual handicap spot I think the parents miss it is still legally only for people with handicap placards or handicapped transportation vehicles. The pathetic person who did it today got yelled at by some old guy with a placard, I was secretly cheering him on.

I know many people look at my family when we step out of the car in a handicap spot and think why do they have one. People need to be reminded that some handicaps are hidden. My friend Kelli’s heart only works at 40% and you would never know it, she looks as healthy as can be, but even a small cold can make walking and doing things difficult for her. My friend Cindy is only 30 and has an extreme back problem that makes walking difficult. Then you have families like mine who are kids look “normal” and at times even act normal, but at any moment might take off into traffic. Our kids with Autism are huge safety risks.

If after hearing me rant on this subject you are still considering parking on a handicap spot, the stripped area, handicap loading zone, you might also be surprised to learn it is also illegal to be just stopped within 3 feet of pavement, ramps, etc., per CA vehicle code 22507.8(a) and (c) 3. In California you are also subject to hefty fines, between $250 and $1,000, for violating disabled parking laws and according to the newest legislation in 2010 the following acts will net you the enhanced fine:
1) A disabled person who knowingly permits his or her disabled placard or plate to be used by a person not entitled to it
2) A person displaying a disabled placard that was not issued to him or her (except when transporting a disabled person), or a disabled placard that has been canceled or revoked
3) A person using a vehicle displaying a special identification license plate issued to another who parks in a parking stall or space designated for disabled persons
4) A person who, with fraudulent intent, displays or causes or permits to be displayed a forged, counterfeit, or false disabled person placard.

So PITA up and if you don’t have a placard DON”T park in the blue, if you don’t have a placard and qualify go get one!!! And remember what my friend Megan said about me,” Warning: I will photograph you in the handicapped spots at the Elementary School and post them on FB and my blog!”

Have a great day and PITA UP!!

Peer Pressure

When my brother-in-law Clem got married we went to Las Vegas for the ceremony. The night before the wedding my sister-in-law to be wanted all of us to go out to The Ghost Bar at the Palms Casino. For those of you who know me well, I am afraid of heights. Hate them, don’t do them, nope not me, but here I was frantically searching for a drink while waiting an hour in line to get into this club which happens to be on the 55th floor. 2 tiny drinks later, I found myself in the Ghost Bar. Unfortunately to get the next drink I had to walk onto that beautiful patio you see in the photo or wait an hour in the massive line at the inside bar. I thought about peer pressuring my friend Kimmy into going out there until she walked out and her Marilyn Monroe style skirt went flying up from the winds. So through out the night, being the good friend I am, I went and got Kimmy and I numerous drinks on that patio. It did get easier with a few more drinks. Thank goodness for peer pressure or I would never have had that awesome experience of the amazing view from the top of the Palm's and it was actually a fun club. I like to think I would go back, if the fear of heights still did not paralyze me.

So after the wedding, my then 14 year old, Nick, begged me to go take him to the Stratosphere Hotel & Casino and to go to the top with him for their X-Scream roller coaster. I of course had to explain to my child that I was afraid of heights. He tried to reason with me that just the night before I was on the 55th floor of the Palm’s. I then had to explain to him how peer pressure works and how he was not my peer. .

I want the world to know I believe in peer pressure. Yes I do!!! Some of the best things come out of peer pressure. Poor “peer pressure” gets a bad rap for all the bad things people do but really some good things come out of it too.

A great example of this is the term PITA as used in my original blog and as it refers to our San Diego and Orange County Mom’s Night Out groups. If it was not for a joke between my friend Janine and me, the PITA’s would not now be quite what we are today. We had the Mom’s night out group going before the name PITA was added to it. The MNO group while the people are the same as then, it was not quite what it is today. It all started when some of the other PITA’s heard I started a PITA Facebook group, as a joke, to amuse Janine. I got 10 why didn’t you invite me, with those looks that you know they mean business. That was the beginning of what you see the PITA’s as the group it is today. I was peer pressured into making us an “official” group. It then is when we all went out as groups we started referring to ourselves as the PITA’s, (if you read the book “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood” think Ya-Ya’s). That little Facebook group is now 2 yahoo PITA groups (one for the SD activities and one for OC activities), a photo shoot, a Facebook fan page, a PITA bodybugg group (which trust me is a whole bunch of more peer pressuring and a different blog, lol) and a whole bunch of requests to become PITA’s and give help on how to get a group like us started in another part of the country.

So today’s message is to go peer pressure someone into doing something good. It might be to make a donation to your favorite Autism Charity, it might be to help you with your child with Autism, but go out and do it.

So go use your PITA powers and peer pressure someone to help for our cause or to follow me;-)!!!

Emotional Vampires

Do you have some one in your life that is just so negative that they are pretty much an emotional vampire? I have a couple in real life and few who are Facebook friends most who have children with Autism. Some days, most days, I think about defacing them, I mean unfriending them. Honestly, I get tired of the whole life sucks, autism sucks, they have nothing positive to say about their child/children, Jenny McCarthy sucks, DAN doctors are snake oil salesmen, vaccines suck, etc.

YES WE KNOW AUTISM SUCKS!!!

HEY!!! It could always be worse. Many of my friends with kids with Autism that are dealing with that and a whole bunch more, they would be thankful to only have Autism to complain about.. Here are a few examples off the top of my head.
1) CPS.
2) Fighting cancer
3) husband’s has passed away in the past year
4) many with chronic immune issues
5) chronic pain
6) heart issues
7) domestic violence
8) drug abuse
Most of the friends I have with the above issues complain but not 24/7, and they do post some positive things when they have a good day.

I seriously worry about people who can’t find something good to post about once in awhile. I’m not looking for huge things; the something good could be that your child with Autism smiled at you, the sun came out, or you caught all the green lights on your way home. Any happy thing here would make me feel better.

This may sound like I am dissing one of my fellow autism parents’ but I am not trying too. If I was I would have already defaced them and moved on. I just want to feed them some food for thought. I think most of us on Facebook and have a child with autism are Autism Awareness 24/7 but I fear the always negative message may scare off the people in your lives who do not live and breath Autism 24/7. I also fear it will scare the new parents to autism from trying some of the interventions that have helped other kids. 6 years ago I was a lot like my emotional vampires friends, well except I am pro Jenny and DAN. Then I realized that I was sounding like a crazy person and alienating those I wanted to help. I then took a step back and changed the way I worded things. I gained a lot more supporters and people who do not have a child with Autism, but know someone who does and may need the information I have learned.

A great example of this is my Cousin Renee’s aunt friended me the other day. I’ve know this aunt all my life, she is like an aunt to me. She friended me a year and half after she heard me talking to Renee’s cousin April about why she should not use Dreft on her baby’s clothes. Renee’s aunt is becoming a grandma and she heard me talking to April at Renee’s daughter in law’s baby shower, trust me I wanted to yell full force to April to not vaccinate, but I didn’t. I did not because I knew I would send April the other way. Instead I talked to her about something small, because I DO NOT scare pregnant women. I want pregnant women to feel free to have an open dialogue with me at anytime. My calm attitude when speaking to April, left the door open for someone who was listening to talk to me about their concerns 1 ½ years after the initial conversation.

This same dialogue with April also lead me to friending and talking to another one of Renee’s cousin’s wives. Her child has been extremely sick and was recently diagnosed with multiple food allergies, and needed help with finding foods her child could eat and my thoughts on eating GF at home for the entire family. Had I stayed the crazy person both these people may not have learned the knowledge I had to share.

I guess the point of this blog is to:
a) Think before you speak, don’t scare off the people who want to listen to you
b) Remember you may not be able to change the entire world at once, but you can try to change the world one person at a time
c) Most important don’t be an emotional vampire, let your friends know something positive every once in a while other wise we will worry about you!!!

PITA up, you know you want too!!